The last time I saw my husband in cutoff jeans we in Goldendale, WA. We decided to drive home via the Mary Hill Museum.

The weather was hot—the end of summer. As we walked from the parking lot, a man started laughing. Afterward, Wayne said the man was laughing at him. Forevermore, nothing I said convinced my husband differently and he never wore shorts or cutoffs again.

Then and now, I think it is sad that in hot weather my husband preferred long pants to the comfort of cutoffs. To allow someone Wayne didn’t know and would never see again to have influence over his comfort for years untold still baffle me.

And yet, I wonder how many decisions I’ve made in life were based on some unremembered incident from my past. How does one recognize what causes seemingly irrational decisions or behavior in order for them to break free and move into a stronger position of self-worth and constructive behavior?

Can one decide to shed the burdens of the past and move forward with their life without reopening and cauterizing the wounds of the past? Can one cut the dead branches of failed relationships with siblings without guilt or regret when those relationships are not beneficial to one’s happiness and mental or emotional health?